It didn’t take long for the honeymoon phase to end after I became the executive pastor of a large suburban church. Within a month, I made a decision that needed to be made, but it disappointed a significant group of people. From that experience, I’ve held tightly to Marty Linsky’s powerful advice: "Good leadership is disappointing people at a rate they can absorb."
Let’s be honest—none of us entered ministry to disappoint people! We love God, we love people, and our goal is to introduce the people we love to the God we love by building a church they can love. So, what could possibly go wrong?
To build a church for the people we love who do NOT know the God we love means messing with a church that people have loved for a long time. And that means people will get disappointed. They hired you to make things better for the church, but often “better” means “don’t change anything.” When changes happen, people get disappointed, and that disappointment can land squarely on you.
If you’re considering implementing significant changes in your church and/or with your staff, I’d encourage you to keep these five principles in mind.
1. Over Communicate
One of the most common leadership failures is not providing enough clarity and communication, especially during times of change. Be a compelling storyteller who clearly explains why this change is necessary. Always answer the question: "What happens if we do nothing?" People need to understand that the status quo is no longer viable. Communicate early, often, and even after the fact. The more people understand the “why” behind the change, the quicker they’ll get on board—and help others do the same.
2. Lead with Humility
If you over-communicated with passion and clarity, you most likely demonstrated confidence. Good! But let your people see your softer side as well. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t appreciate a humble leader! If you make a misstep or the change isn’t going as planned, don’t pretend everything is perfect. Admitting mistakes builds trust and shows that you’re leading with both courage and care.
3. Offer Consistent Support
Your people need consistent support as they navigate change. Don’t try to talk people out of what they’re feeling or worse yet, ignore them all together. It’s easy for leaders to underestimate the emotional toll of change because, by the time we announce it, we’ve already processed it. Allow your people the time and space to express worry, hesitation, or even frustration. Don’t dismiss these reactions as resistance or negativity; listen deeply and offer reassurance. When people feel heard and supported, they’re far more likely to embrace change.
4. Acknowledge the Loss
Moving to something new always involves the loss of something old. William Bridges says, “Don’t just talk about the endings-create actions or activities that dramatize them.” One film studio that was trying to transition its employees away from AOL Instant Messenger to a new messaging system put a big poster of the AOL running man in the lobby and asked everyone to write their screen name on it, along with a little goodbye. Everyone had a great time with it, with the screen name they’d made up when they were 12. It became a cultural moment for the organization.
5. Feed the Fans
You MUST effectively do the first four principles before leaning into this last one! After you’ve communicated well, shown humility, acknowledged loss, and provided support, shift your attention to those who are fully behind you—your fans. Leaders often spend too much energy on a vocal minority of naysayers. If you’ve done the earlier steps right, those critics should be in the minority. If they’re not in the minority then you need to assess how effective you were in steps 1-4 or consider the possibility that this wasn’t the right time for change. Feed your fans—they’ll help bring the undecided along and may even win over some skeptics. Over time, the naysayers will either join the movement or find a new home.
Bonus Advice
Treat the Past with Respect
Never denigrate the past. In our enthusiasm for a brighter future, it’s easy to belittle the old ways of doing things. Instead, honor the past for what it accomplished. Taking time to acknowledge the good that was done helps build trust and makes it easier for people to embrace what’s coming next.
Change is never easy, especially in the church. But it’s often necessary. My prayer is that you’ll lead well through the transitions ahead.
About the AuthorRev. Daniel Dennison
ddennison@horizons.net